Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Calling All Married Couples

You know when you read a good book, see a good movie, or do something fun you want to share with everyone your experience? Well, I want to share with you two things.. The movie Fireproof and the book The Love Dare.
I have been married since 1989 and most of my marriage I was extremely unhappy... not because I married an awful man... I actually married a wonderful was because I did not know what love was... real love... unconditional love..the kind of love God wants me to have towards my husband. Looking back on the way I have treated Dusty these past years, I feel shame and regret... shame because he deserved my love and regret that I wasted so much time being unhappy that I missed out on years of attainable happiness.
When I watched the movie Fireproof - I saw myself in both characters and I also saw Dusty... every marriage has their little quirks.... the movie was the first step for me to look at the wife and mother I had become and I was not liking the reflection.... After a few weeks of a Fireproof study and watching the movie - I bought The Love Dare I had to really make a commitment to myself to follow it... I truly felt that this was my last chance... for a miracle.... We were at such a bad place in our marriage.... we couldn't talk to each other without starting a battle.....instantly our defenses went up whenever one of us would say something.... we became room mates that really did hate each other...
The first two weeks were the most difficult for me... Dusty had his defenses up and brought up things that I had said and done in the past... awful things I had said.... I had hurt him for so many years and he was morning in particular during The Love Dare..... there was a major turning our marriage... Dusty was just so angry and I did not argue back... I did not defend myself.. I let him say the things that was building up in him..... I know he was surprised that I did not argue back... I quietly told him - that I understood his anger..... but I had not done anything wrong in the past two weeks.. I have done everything right... at least I was trying too... and Dusty stopped and realized I was right and we were okay... The following weeks were good and bad... It took a while for Dusty to get to a place where he could trust me.. Trust that I was seriously committed to "us"
I can't say this is a quick fix and your marriage will be perfect.... but I can say that I love my husband today.... he loves me today....we haven't fought in months....seriously.. when we disagree we talk it out.... He still does things that irritate me...but you know with someone...that is bound to happen... I have also noticed that when he uses his sarcasm towards me- which is something he is working on - he is quick to apologize... This Mother's Day was so joyful because of my "new and improved" marriage....everything is better.....
Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one.. Love is a choice and I choose to love my husband.....
If you want to experience my Love Dare journey you can go to my blog I've Become My Mother and see for yourself the rewards and difficulties I faced...just go into the archives.... I would love for everyone to have the rewarding experience I have had.. God is good... He is good ALL the Time..


Andrea said...

I have heard awesome things about this movie...My husband and I have not yet seen it.
Thank you for sharing...andrea

Jadehollow said...

Hi'ya Kelly! This is so funny .. Fireproof was going to be the topic of my weekend post. My husband and I just watched the movie this past weekend and we'll be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary next week so I am goin to recommend the movie and stuff to all. I had given Fireproof to my husband as a Valentines gift .. and we just now got the time to see it.. I absolutely LOVED it.
The next morning we both were online searching for The Love Dare for one another as an anniversary gift. Another great movie done by the same people that did Fireproof is Facing The Giants.. if you haven't seen it .. I highly recommend it.. along with The Ultimate Gift.
Thanks for stopping by earlier today .. and for becoming a follower. I look forward to getting to know you.
Have a Blessed Day.

Diane said...

darn you kelly! now i'm crying and ordering stuff off my credit card i'm not supposed to use! lol!!!

i REALLY want to check out this book. i'm not in a shaky marriage situation, but i think i can apply it to my relationship with myself and my older daughter.

great post my friend!!

hope you are having a terrific day! and thanks for sharing your story!


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