People Never Crumble In A Day - It's A Slow Fade

It's Monday and it's time for Musical Monday - What Moves you - Hosted by one of my favorite blogger friends Diane at Good Mourning, Glory! Be sure to visit Diane after you watch this music video.

Our children see and hear everything we do.... Many times, we don't notice how our bad behavior affects our kids.... I see it when I hear one of my kids talk down to the other - they sound like me and my husband when we fight... My dad yelled and cursed when he was angry - so do I.... It's something - I have to work on everyday.... every minute.... I don't want my kids repeating my actions....

The first time I say this video - I cried... How many times have you just wished for a do-over...? One moment in time if you had done something differently - how much better things could have been... When we give our self away to the wrong choices - it affects everyone.... not just us but the ones we love the most...

Be Careful Little Ears what you Hear....

The Day My Flowergirl Married

I do have to say that my niece Kristin's wedding was by far the most lavish and beautiful one I have been too... She was lovely and happy.... Watching her and her new husband, Josh - just melted my heart... their friends cracked me up... all loving... all wild... all just fun.

My kids joined the bride and her "big girl" bridesmaids to get ready for the wedding.. The hair, the dresses, and the makeup.. My niece's fairytale wedding became a reality....

The vows, the tears, the laughter, and the joy were all the ingredients of the day.. To watch my sister - the mother of the bride just beam with pride for the child/woman she raised was something to see... my eyes are just welling up right now at the memory.. One very touching moment in the wedding was this: My dad the grandfather passed away last July and his brother my Uncle Kenny flew out from Colorado because he knew my dad would want that.... My niece and sister gave my uncle the recognition that he deserved... being a loving uncle...

The wedding began at The Rufuge Calvary Chapel in Huntington Beach, CA and the reception was at the Hyatt Regency in Huntington Beach... The decorations were breathtaking and the food... I wanted a doggie bag.... yum. the mango sorbet afterwards with the berries to die for! The tables were decorated with flowers and crystals... The view of the Pacific Ocean - never tiring.... oh and my thirteen year old caught the bouquet to my eleven year old's jealousy... I advised no weddings until after medical school.

My favorite words from the ceremony was this: People say a wedding is 50/50 but that's not true.. It's 100/100... giving your unconditional love to your spouse everyday... every hour.... every moment... that is God's design - to love one another with all our heart, mind, and soul...


1 Corinthians 13:1-13

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

Calling All Married Couples

You know when you read a good book, see a good movie, or do something fun you want to share with everyone your experience? Well, I want to share with you two things.. The movie Fireproof and the book The Love Dare.
I have been married since 1989 and most of my marriage I was extremely unhappy... not because I married an awful man... I actually married a wonderful man...it was because I did not know what love was... real love... unconditional love..the kind of love God wants me to have towards my husband. Looking back on the way I have treated Dusty these past years, I feel shame and regret... shame because he deserved my love and regret that I wasted so much time being unhappy that I missed out on years of attainable happiness.
When I watched the movie Fireproof - I saw myself in both characters and I also saw Dusty... every marriage has their little quirks.... the movie was the first step for me to look at the wife and mother I had become and I was not liking the reflection.... After a few weeks of a Fireproof study and watching the movie - I bought The Love Dare I had to really make a commitment to myself to follow it... I truly felt that this was my last chance... for a miracle.... We were at such a bad place in our marriage.... we couldn't talk to each other without starting a battle.....instantly our defenses went up whenever one of us would say something.... we became room mates that really did hate each other...
The first two weeks were the most difficult for me... Dusty had his defenses up and brought up things that I had said and done in the past... awful things I had said.... I had hurt him for so many years and he was angry......one morning in particular during The Love Dare..... there was a major turning point...in our marriage... Dusty was just so angry and I did not argue back... I did not defend myself.. I let him say the things that was building up in him..... I know he was surprised that I did not argue back... I quietly told him - that I understood his anger..... but I had not done anything wrong in the past two weeks.. I have done everything right... at least I was trying too... and Dusty stopped and realized I was right and we were okay... The following weeks were good and bad... It took a while for Dusty to get to a place where he could trust me.. Trust that I was seriously committed to "us"
I can't say this is a quick fix and your marriage will be perfect.... but I can say that I love my husband today.... he loves me today....we haven't fought in months....seriously.. when we disagree we talk it out.... He still does things that irritate me...but you know what...living with someone...that is bound to happen... I have also noticed that when he uses his sarcasm towards me- which is something he is working on - he is quick to apologize... This Mother's Day was so joyful because of my "new and improved" marriage....everything is better.....
Marriage is a beautiful mystery created by God, joining two lives together as one.. Love is a choice and I choose to love my husband.....
If you want to experience my Love Dare journey you can go to my blog I've Become My Mother and see for yourself the rewards and difficulties I faced...just go into the archives.... I would love for everyone to have the rewarding experience I have had.. God is good... He is good ALL the Time..