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Sunday, May 24, 2009

The After Picture Is Gonna Take A While


There were many blogs I read today about different people's struggles with weight loss. Many of the stories were very uplifting and human.... making me realize that I am not alone. In my teens and young adulthood, I had a great body... at least I liked it and I know my husband did.. and then I got sick... I was diagnosed with Lupus... before anyone feels sorry for me..I am symptom free today and have been for fourteen years - I had kidney failure for a couple of months way back then but my kidneys came back... I am fine but I became fat...
I have my little comfort zone I live in... I have my friends that I see all the time and love me... there are clients that I have worked with for years and years and never met face to face and I like it that way... there are old high school friends that I would love to see but in my embarrassment, I have allowed other obligations to take priority and have not seen anyone... it was kind of sad to me the other day... I have a picture of me and Dusty (my husband) on a shelf in my family room. The picture was taken sixteen years ago when I was a size 2... My friend looked at the picture and asked me who the pretty girl with Dusty was..... can you feel my embarrassment...and I think my friend was embarrassed too...
I am tired of living my life in hiding... I know that this is my problem and my problem alone... At my ripe old age of 43 - I seriously doubt friends that love me for me could care less how small or large I am.. I think my clients may be surprised how I look.... my voice does not sound like I look... Don't get me wrong... I am not scary to look at.. I'm just over nourished...
So tomorrow is Memorial Day and I am going to start yet again another diet... another way of eating... making good choices and not eating that chocolate cookie dough calling my name from the refrigerator in the middle of the night.. I'm going to wear earplugs.. so wish me luck... pray for me if you will.. I am NOT going to post a before picture until I have an after to share (okay I will- accountability and all that). I am guessing the after won't be available for at least a year..

12 comments:

KC Mom said...

I wish you all the luck...you can do it. I feel ya!

Delia said...

I wish you all the best in your journey to losing the weight! I've struggled for years...basically all my life and I'm in the process of attempting to get approval for lap band surgery. With my history of a heart attack, I'm hoping that I get approval and can reverse some of the effects of heart disease. I know how difficult it is in saying no to the cookie dough! So my thoughts are with you and I wish you the best of luck!!!

Andrea said...

Blessings on your journey...I am right there with you.

Blahbitty Blahbitty Blahbitty Blah! said...

Go Kelly! I am behind you 100%. As long as you want it for yourself and not for anyone else, you will indeed be successful. I have lost my way a little on my exercise and diet with all of my recent drama. But, I have to remind myself that all of that stuff is part of the natural ups and downs of life.
Good luck to you. You deserve the "after" photo.

Mama Bear June said...

Saw your comment on Annalisa's blog, so I came to visit. Everyone asks me how I lost weight and the answer is the common sense one. Eat healthy foods and get regular exercise! There's no other magic pill! :-) May you have many days of healthy choices and enjoy your path to health.
Path to Health

Katie, Kevin and kids said...

Good luck with your weight loss plan and new determination!

Lucia said...

Good luck! I'm routing for you! I'm right there with you.

Amber S. said...

Good luck to you Kelly. You can do it!

I just may decide to diet right along with you. Every year I say that I'm going to lose some weight and be able to wear a bikini by summer, but it never happens.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I totally feel your pain! I had weight loss surgery in February of 2008, I have lost over 100 lbs. I struggled SO much for many years before I finally took that step!
Best of luck to you & thanks for visiting my blog.

Alaska-womom said...

Kelly,
After my baby all I could say was . "what do you men he only weighs 3 1/2 pounds! I gained over 60! I could not diet as I was breastfeeding/. I had read some of the Weigh Down Workshop book and applies some of those thoughts. My main focus was to be beautiful as I could each day and eat normally, that was it. I still struggle with a 15 or so that goes up and down, but that is not my focus. I hope that helps. You are beautiful.

Kelly's Ideas said...

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement.
God Bless
Kelly

MOMSWEB said...

Good for you, Kelly! Take one day at a time.

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